From seizures to seizing the moment: Poet writes of epilepsy, demons, life in the tough streets of Phoenix
HARK!
I hear…an epiphany…
As it is the month of not only basketball craziness in America, but also the Irish-centric St. Patrick’s Day (an ancient and potent brand of March Madness), it is fitting to call to mind the elegant, frustrating and mad-brilliant Irish writer, James Joyce.
Joyce’s characters often had “epiphanies,” as described explicitly in “Stephen Hero"; Stephen Dedalus has a lightbulb moment while hearing a random snatch of conversation:
“This triviality made him think of collecting many such moments together in a book of epiphanies. By an epiphany, he meant ‘a sudden spiritual manifestation, whether in the vulgarity of speech or of gesture or in a memorable phase of the mind itself. He believed that it was for the man of letters to record these epiphanies with extreme care, seeing that they themselves are the most delicate and evanescent of moments…”
Francisco Torres knows all about how an ordinary moment can explode into overwhelming chaos.
Turning actual epiphanies into literary ones, his poetry often explores two powerful forces that can change a moment in the snap of a finger: epilepsy and life on the tough streets of Phoenix.
Growing up “near the projects” of Roosevelt and 20th, where gangs battled for territory and nights could be filled with gunshots and sirens, how did Torres discover poetry?
“The story behind it is pretty funny,” he said, smiling shyly during a Zoom interview this week. “It was my sophomore year in high school; honestly, until then, poetry was nowhere near my mind. But we had the option to write a five-page essay or a one page-poem. I didn’t do neither! But I was playing basketball and we had a game that day against our rivals, and if I don’t turn this in I can’t play.”
Hustling at the last minute, Torres decided to write a poem, since it was shorter.
“All the sudden I just started writing without thinking…Ever since that day, I just kept writing.”
At first, he thought poetry was “just about love heartbreak”; then, after reading poets who broke down a variety of subjects, he had an epiphany to write about his epiphanies:
“I started talking about my life with epilepsy, suffering seizures.”
After leaving Camelback High in 2011, Torres was all set to pursue a blue-collar passion.
“I graduated with five scholarships; my goal was to go for automotive, since I’m a car guy. But they didn’t accept me, due to my seizures. My second option was criminal justice, to become probation officer…But three months from graduation they dropped me from class due to absences. You were supposed to give notice but my seizures were unpredictable."
Thus began a miserable period in Francisco’s life.
“I had to stop working; I was at rock bottom for close to 10 years.”
His seizures became more frequent and debilitating.
“I used to have 10 seizures a week—or in a day—or a year; you just never knew.”
His epilepsy would send him into violent shaking for 2 to 3 minutes; and after they passed, he would be in a fog, dazed for a day or two.
Finally, when he felt like he would never have control over his life from the demon seizures, in 2018 Torres had brain surgery.
Shortly after the surgery, another seizure. “It lasted about 30 seconds. Then I got up, no problem.”
He hasn’t had a seizure since, allowing him to take a job at the Arizona Latino Arts and Cultural Center, where he organizes monthly poetry slams.
At 6 p.m. Friday, March 4, the downtown center celebrates women’s history month with “Latina Expressions.”
According to the center, “It will be a night full of performance art, poetry, and cultural dance.”
Artists include:
✨ Elizabeth Toledo
✨ Adriana Martinez
✨ Cora Talkington
✨ Pat Rod
✨ Cha Cha Chic Fashion by Cathy Garcia
“The whole point is female artists, actors, painters—it’s all about women,” Torres said. We’re accepting any woman who is interested.”
But…it’s not just for women. Torres himself will read a poem dedicated to women.
Cisco the Poet
Cisco, as he goes by, bounces between English and Spanish in his intense poetry, such as “Depression vs. Demons,” where talks about how the struggles of his post-seizure life:
“I can't sleep I can't work...
These demons are killing me…
Please help...
I scream I cry but these tears don't come out
Somebody please fucking help…”
Beyond writing, Franciso’s mission as he leaves his 20s (he turns 30 Sept. 2) is to spread the word about poetry as a creative outlet.
He still loves to be part of car culture.
How do they react, when he tells his muscle-car buddies he writes poetry?
“They look at me sideways,” Torres said, with a laugh. “Everywhere, they look at me sideways. They say I look ‘too thuggish’ to be a poet.”
That’s the point, he tells kids at schools where he gives talks: You don’t have to look or act any certain way to be a writer.
How do kids, notorious for short attention spans and eye-rolling, react to his poetry readings?
“They get into it. I tell stories around me growing up around poverty, gangs, drugs, violence. They can relate.”
He credits older brothers and a passion for sports for steering him from gangs and keeping him on the straight path.
To quote his Instagram site:
“Cisco is a spoken word artist from Phoenix, AZ. Themes of his work include epilepsy, growing up in AZ, and overcoming struggle.”
His next Downtown Poetry Slam at the Arizona Latino Arts and Cultural Center is March 19.
How many poets will be performing?
“As many as I can get!
“Anyone interested In performing, email me at DowntownPoetrySlam@gmail.com.”
A new Cisco poem
He shared with HARK Valley his own poem he will proclaim at the women’s event:
Women To Woman/ De Mujer A Mujer
By: Francisco Torres
Yea
I Know What Your Thinking
What The Hell
Is A Man Doing!?
Speaking !
At A Women’s Exhibition!?
Si
Ya Se Lo Que Tu
Estas Pensando
Que Ase Un Hombre
Hablando
En Una Exhibicion
De Mujeres
Pues Deja Te Digo!!
So You See
I Grew Up
Surrounded
By Women
Yo Creci Rodeado
De Mujeres
But There’s This Women!!
That I Admire !!
Because Where She Was
I Was !
When She Moved
I Moved !
When She Cried
I Cried !
And
When She Spoke
I Listened !
Pero Ay Una Señorita
Que Yo Admiro
Muncho !
Por Que Donde Ella Estaba
Yo Estaba !
Cuando Ella Se Movia
Yo Me Movia !
Cuando Ella Lloraba
Yo Lloraba !
Y Cuando Ella Hablaba
Yo Escuchava !
This Women Raised Daughter’s
That Worn’t Even Hers !
She Raised
Nieces, Sister’s, Sister-In-Laws !
Any Women
You Can Think Of !
She Raised Her !
Esta Señorita
Lido Con Hijas
Que Ni Eran
De Ella
Lidio
Con Hermanas, Sobrinas, Cuñadas !
Con Cualquier Señorita
Que Tu Puedas Pensar
Ella
La Lidio !
They Would Come To Her
And Say !
I’m Tire
Of This
Shet !
The Way
He
Treats Me !
The Way
He Talks
To Me !
The Way
He
Kisses Me !
And The Way
He
Expresses Me !!
Ya Estoy
Cansada
Yo De Esto !
La Manera
En Que Me Habla !
La Manera
En Que Me
Trata !
La Manera
En Que
Me Besa !
Y La Manera
En Que
Me Expressa !
No Puedo
Yo Mas !
And This Women
Had A Saying
That She Would Say
To Them !
She Would
Say !
Look !
Women
To
Women !
Know Your
Worth !
Know Your
Value !
Don’t Let No Man
Come
And Put A Price Tag
On You !
You’re A Women !!
Not No Pair
Of Jeans !
Mira !
De Mujer
A
Mujer !
Sepan Su Valor !
Reconoscan Lo Que
Valen !
No Dejes
Que Venga Un Hombre
Y Te Ponga
Una Atiqueta !
Eres Una Señorita
No Un Par De
Pantalones !!